Monday, July 2, 2012

My "Vegan Journey"

I think it is really cheesy when people refer to their experiences as journeys.  

Some examples:  "my yoga journey", "weight loss journey", "a spiritual journey".  

But sometimes, "journey" really is the only word that fits.  And where else would be more fitting to start a new point on my "vegan journey", than here?  Since this is where it all began, almost 5 years ago. 

I posted pretty recently that I wasn't vegan anymore, and that was obviously a pothole in the journey.  I did not stop blogging because I was no longer vegan.  I stopped blogging quite a bit before that.  And the reason I stopped blogging was because I didn't feel like myself.  Within the span of a year we lived in three different places.  We packed, unpacked, changed jobs, found out I was pregnant, had my husband out of town for awhile; I didn't have time to cook, I didn't want to cook, I didn't want to blog, and nothing is worse than a forced blog post.

So yes, I was pregnant with my little boy when I had a hard time staying vegan, but that wasn't the whole story.  Something in me was off, and has been until the last few months.  Something woke up!  Its a great thing to actually feel change inside yourself, especially when it is in a direction you see as positive.  

I realized recently that I hadn't been vegan for almost 2 years.  That made me sad.  Then I had to think about why that made me sad.  I still believed in being vegan, in everything it stands for.  In fact, I really did make an effort to keep us "as vegan as possible".  You can probably guess what that means:  We stuck with our almond milk, but we went out for ice cream; we still use lots of nutritional yeast, but sprinkled parm on our pasta alongside it.  Why?  I'm not sure.  When I was pregnant, I truly did crave cheese.  Whether or not giving in to that craving was the best decision can be debated, but at the time I obviously felt it was.  Why I stuck with it though?  Because it was easy.  Also, because of the reaction I got from close friends and family when I went back to being vegetarian.

I was shocked, really honestly shocked, that no one asked me if I was okay with not being vegan anymore.  Because, I really wasn't, I struggled with it.  I realize now the reason for that is they didn't understand why I was vegan in the first place.  Instead, I had multiple people tell me how happy they were that I wasn't vegan anymore.  They were happy that I would be able to enjoy the same things that they enjoyed, that we could share in more of the same food experiences.  I didn't realize how much my decisons about what I ate affected them.  That was ignorant of me.  And I can see how maybe being vegan is a little selfish at the same time as it is selfless.  It makes people uncomfortable, and I am sorry for making my family and friends uncomfortable.  

But, it is time for them to be uncomfortable again, because I'm happy to be back to vegan.  

I know this is a lot of words after not having been aronud for awhile, so if you chose to read this, thank you!  If you're hoping for more posts, I hope you will wait and see.  I would like to keep up with blogging again, but my life is very different from when I was doing this before.  I don't have time to post every day any more, but I do have some time.  

It feels really good to be at the next stop on my "vegan journey".  It also is exciting to be writing on my old blog again (although I do still plan to keep up with the newer one, with more family-type updates), and I have a few reviews and a giveaway to celebrate!  So hang around, I'm hoping to make this journey a fun one!

Stay Strong,